PANT from Taylor Robinson on Vimeo.
I really like doing them, and from what I gather other people think they're pretty funny. Unfortunately, Erin decided to drive a wooden stake into these videos heart, by saying we can't do anymore for camp this summer. But I'll save that rant for a different blog.
Anyways, we made one of these videos for our spring conference. It's about "love." Student Life partners with a ministry in Ukraine called Radooga. Radooga hosts a similar event in Ukraine. One of the things we provide for Radooga is creative content. This just means we give them scripts for stage performances, they use our videos, and we give them set design stuff. They have to translate all of our content from English to Ukrainian. So all of our videos that they play at their event are over-dubbed.
Here's the Ukrainian version of the "love" cartoon:
An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day (for this to be ironic, he would have had to be a poor old man who played the lottery often - all those things assumed - yes ironic)
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay (coincidence)
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late (bad luck)
And isn't it ironic... don't you think
It's like rain on your wedding day (bad luck - one could argue that the symbolism is ironic, but no)
It's a free ride when you've already paid (ironic)
It's the good advice that you just didn't take (bad decision)
Who would've thought... it figures
Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..." (this is absolutely ironic)
And isn't it ironic... don't you think
Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face (while these lyrics may be true there is no irony, or mention of irony)
A traffic jam when you're already late (bad luck)
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break (barley ironic, more of a coincidence)
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife (irony)
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife (only ironic because of a fantasy you've created in your head, so no)
And isn't it ironic...don't you think
A little too ironic...and, yeah, I really do think...
So, of the 12 scenarios presented 4.5 of them are actually ironic. So, no, I don't think.
Do you think I've gotten any of these wrong?
We come from west Texas, so snow is no big deal. I know. But it was awesome, and here's the pictures we took.
Here's our house. From the right angle, and with all the snow, our home looks like a sweet awesome cabin in the woods.
Needless to say. Snow's not that big of a deal, but to us, that morning, it was awesome. STEVE loved it.
On most Compassion trips that we go on, there's usually a day or two that you take time to have a cultural experience. In the Philippines we went scuba diving in the ocean. In Uganda we went to the Nile river.
So in Kenya we went on a safari on the Masai Marra National Game Reserve. If you've ever seen the Discovery Channel's Planet Earth, it's the place they shot the great migration of wildebeest. Needless to say, it's amazing.
When you go on these safaris you ride around in these big 4-wheel drive jeeps. They're actually like big pickups with stadium seating in the bed. We had a sweet guide who had been leading safaris for 11+ years. His name was Joseph. He knew everything about everything. He had tons of stories. It was really sweet cause all of the guides in all of the different trucks have CB radios so they're in constant contact with each other about what's happening where. So when one guide finds the lions, he tells the other guides and everyone knows where everything is.
We saw lions, water buck (my fav), baboons, elephants, giraffes, zebras, African buffaloes, antelopes, hyenas, and abunch of other stuff I don't remember the name of.
You have to keep in mind, these are open air jeeps. If a lion wanted to eat you, there's nothing stopping him from dragging you out of the jeep. Nothing. However, the animals see these vehicles so much, they've gotten used to them, so they're not afraid and more or less uninterested with them. This is what allows you to get so unbelievably close to wild animals. The guides don't sweat it. But you can be sure it's a little unnerving when you're 12 feet from a lion, the engine's off, and he looks pretty hungry. Because in the back of your mind you can't forget that lions are killing machines.
So now that you get the picture, here's one of the two best stories from that day:
We had just got the word that a female rhino and her 11 month old baby were moving across one of the fields. While we were on the way to see these rhinos, Joseph told us a story about one time when a rhino attacked on of the vehicles. The story was terrifying. Basically, the rhino put it's horn through the drivers door, into his femur (shattering it), and lifted him out of his seat while ripping the door off. He explained that after this incident the driver lost his job because he didn't follow the Game Reserve's distancing rules. Then the story oddly ended there because we had arrived where the rhinos were.
The rhinos were awesome - huge, tough, strong, awesome - all that. The mother had this huge scar on her shoulder, and Joseph said he was there when she got the scar. It was from when she had been in a fight with a lion, and killed it.......The rhinos are walking in a straight line across this field that has alot of shrubs and bushes everywhere. Joseph is slowy keeping up with them for a few minutes. Then he pulls ahead of where they are walking, and cuts off the engine. They're walking towards us, right towards us. Then finally the mom notices us she stops and kind of give us a second take. Lucky for you, I started rolling the camera at that moment. Here's the video:
Roger pee'd his pants. Ben cried him self to sleep for the next two nights, Bo called his mother on the satellite phone immediately, and I had to change my diaper.
Here's what you're seeing and hearing: She stops, Joseph tries to start the Jeep, the sound of the engine pisses her off, and she comes running towards us huffing and puffing on the way. Joseph quits, she stops, Bo stars crying.
It was awesome. Here's some of Eric's photos from the safari.
These days there's dudes getting facials
Manicured, waxed, and botoxed
With deep spray-on tans and creamy lotion-y hands
You can't grip a tackle box
With all of these men line'n up to get neutered
It's hip now to be feminized
My eye-brows ain't plucked, there's a gun in my truck
Hey honey, I'm still a guy.
I understand how silly those lyrics are, but I think they go well here, and you'll see why soon.
I got an email from my good friend Jonathan (not Johnny) H.
I was amazed. I was intrigued. I loved it, so I thought you might like it too.
Look at these dudes:
The guy on left looks like he just climbed out of Willy Wonka's river of chocolate, and the guy on the right is absolutely jealous of how sweet his buddy's tan looks. You can see his jealousy manifested in the next photo.
His tan will not be outdone.
I am unable to believe that this photo was not in some way altered digitally.
What is this a line for?
Obviously, the dude in the middle is the eye catcher in this picture, but if you look at this one long enough you'll come to realize that the gentleman on the right is the big winner.
Meet Joey. I named him Joey, cause he reminds me of Joey from New Kids on the Block when I was a kid. The rest of these photos are of Joey.
Joey forgot the "head back and to the right" part of his signature pose on this one.
My favorite: Joey - posing super tough, shirt - open to show his muscles and chain, hair - perfect, tan - dark, face - posed, shopping.
edit: I wrote this blog, and was pretty proud of it. I thought it was really funny, then I posted it. I went to preview it, and then realized at the top of my blog is a photo of me doing Joey's pose. It was embarrassing, and I almost changed the photo at the top of my blog - but I thought the irony was too perfect. And who cares anyways?